Deliberately Defy Relational Drift


Carefully crafted. Artfully designed. Dynamically curated. 

This is a simple tool for creative, productive dialogue. 

Casually brought on a date and placed on the table, the craftsman leather pouch, tactilely thick cards, and thoughtfully worded questions invite you and your partner into a playfully engaged conversation that deepens your connection. 

48 curated question cards 

Road Trips. Date nights. End of the day sofa time.

our WHY


 So often, when couples actually have time to really talk, time is easily spent reporting the latest details of the calendar, gossiping about people at work, or commenting about kids or 

 in-laws. Years of missing the mark leaves couples dry and hoping for more.  We passionately created a tool to help build rapport together through deeper, more real conversations. Carefully curated questions makes actively pursuing a deeper knowing of your spouse feel purposeful and leads to growth, development, and maturity.  It's water for a dry soul.



Rather than "one time" questions, Defy Drift cards are categorized to stimulate up-to-date creative, productive dialogue:

  • PLAY- easy "what if" questions that stem playful, creative big picture dialogue that stirs new ideas
  • CONNECT- emotionally curious dialogue about what is most relevant to each of you in life right now  
  • PURSUE- questions to encourage you to discuss the quality of romance and intimacy in your relationship.  
  • VISION- these are forward-focused questions to create a new sense of intentionality around values, goals, and big decisions.

Our Story

   On long road trips to from Atlanta to Texas to visit family over the last ten years, my husband and I would begin the car ride chatting and catching up on the current events of our household, kid’s activities, and work related topics. After two hours of quick conversations, the silence would eventually set in as we discovered we had come the end of our “catching up”…with 12 more hours left to go! 

    The silence was a signal we both took note of. After sitting in the awkward silence for a while, Todd turned to me and asked a witty, open ended question that reminded me of when we were dating. It reminded me of the chase, the back and forth obsession of getting to know someone who you are interested in. We wrote that question down and over the years kept adding to the list of questions. We called them “road trip conversations”. 

   We often talk about the questions to couples and finally decided to take the paper list from my car and make them available to the world. We are grateful for your support and we hope you find these questions a helpful tool in creating connection with your spouse.  


About Us

Our Team

Todd and Beverly Sandel

Todd and Beverly Sandel

Todd is the founder of The SouthCity Group and a licensed marriage and family therapist. Together, we are passionate about helping couples defy the natural drift that happens and recapture the thrill of being together.

The SouthCity Group


We are an executive coaching and leadership architect firm built to help leaders galvanize greatness in themselves, their teams, and their organizations.

Marriage Leadership Vacations


We bring leaders and their spouses to bucket-list destinations and intentionally blend physical fitness, novelty adventure, and marriage leadership principles.  

Want to know more?

If you are a leader and want to learn more about our executive coaching or leadership consultation services, or if you're wanting to bring a group of leaders and their spouses on an epic marriage vacation, please visit our SouthCity Group website.